i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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