found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
