You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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