yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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