Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
then he tried to convert me to islam
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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