I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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