if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
it's like iHOP with fire
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize