just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize