don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
