i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
