Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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