Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize