so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i dont even know how to be here
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
