and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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