considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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