i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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