it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
