Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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