My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
