you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Just puked most of my soul out..
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize