So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Be still, my beating vagina.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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