i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
