your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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