Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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