I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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