So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Randomize
