Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
