well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
