I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize