What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
