I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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