with your own penis?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
