Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
