Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize