she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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