I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
