My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
