She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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