you traded sex for a burrito?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
