I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
