I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
