toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
