dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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