I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
