i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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