Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
