we have officially mastered the walk of shame
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize