He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
