I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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