Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
