god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
only you would photoshop your dick
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize