I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
