? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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