There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
