Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
home. puking in laundry basket.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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