my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
