Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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