So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
